Why You Keep Self-Sabotaging With Money (And How to Finally Stop)
Have you ever found yourself scrolling late at night, adding things to your cart, only to feel guilty when the package arrives? You’re not alone — and you’re not “bad with money.
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Money self-sabotage isn’t about being careless or irresponsible. It’s about emotional patterns, old stories, and the way we’ve learned to cope with stress or uncertainty. The good news? Once you can see the patterns, you can shift them.
In this blog, I’ll share three of the most common self-sabotage behaviours I see in women, and the simple tools that can help you break free.
1. The Scroll-and-Spend Cycle
We’ve all been there: a stressful day, a quick scroll, and suddenly a package on the way. But the rush quickly turns into guilt, shame, and unopened parcels in the cupboard.
💬 “Money is emotional. How we make our decisions on our money is based on how we feel.”
Case Study: A widow in her 50s was stuck in this exact pattern. She used what I call an urge journal — a simple practice of pausing, writing down what she was feeling, and asking herself if the purchase aligned with her values. Within weeks, the spending spiral stopped.
👉 Try this: Before clicking ‘buy now,’ pause and journal: What am I feeling? What am I really looking for? Does this purchase support my values?
2. One-Account Chaos
Most people run their lives out of a single bank account. It’s like trying to cook with all your ingredients thrown into one bowl — messy and impossible to manage.
💬 “Every dollar counts. Giving every dollar a purpose.”
Case Study: One client moved from one-account chaos into a structured system with separate accounts for bills, everyday spending, and goals. Beyond her money improving, she also lost weight, rediscovered her love for cooking, and even started planning a kitchen renovation. Why? Because her money finally supported her life.
👉 Try this: Start with two simple accounts:
A Bills Account for fixed costs.
An Everyday Account for daily spending.
Then add one “values account” (e.g. travel, self-care, or family experiences). Automate transfers so your money flows where it matters most.
3. “I’m Just Bad With Money”
This is one of the most common sentences I hear from women. Yet when I ask if they’ve ever missed a mortgage or rent payment, the answer is almost always “No.”
💬 “Actually, I am amazing with money. I am creating a life that I truly want.”
Case Study: A 35-year-old client told me she had “no goals.” The truth was she had dreams, but they felt impossible. Once she reframed her money story, she realised she wasn’t “bad with money” — she was already good at handling the basics. Today she’s investing regularly with a clear vision for her future.
👉 Try this: Next time you spend, ask: “How will this improve my life?” And make a list of three ways you’re already good with money — like paying bills on time, saving for a holiday, or saying no to unnecessary purchases.
Key Takeaways
Pause before you purchase: Use an urge journal to uncover what’s really driving your spending.
Structure your accounts: Separate bills, spending, and values-based goals.
Reframe your story: You’re not “bad with money” — you’re human, and your money patterns can be rewritten.
Final Thoughts
Money self-sabotage is normal — but it’s not permanent. With awareness, structure, and compassion, you can transform your patterns and create financial freedom that feels joyful and aligned with your values.
✨ Remember: money isn’t just about bills and savings. It’s about creating a life you love.
Ready to Take Action?
⚠️ Disclaimer: This blog provides general advice only and does not take into account your personal circumstances. Please seek professional advice before making financial decisions.